Running around like a headless chicken

That´s me. My mind. My stupid thoughts that won´t let me sleep. That wonder, ponder and obsessively overthink everything and anything. Mostly I think about my kids and what I´m going to do with the rest of my life. There is so much I want to do and yet I can´t put my finger on what. Because it´s trapped in the laundry machine stuck on spin cycle that is my head. I wish I only had one interest. That I was one of those people that really like one thing. Like tractors. Or cutting grass. That start a tractor or lawn mowing business when they´re 18 and do just that for the rest of their lives. With a smile on their face. Doing honest work. Enjoying the simple life. Dips on being that guy if there is a life after this one.

I wish I didn't think everything was interesting. I know a little about a lot of things, and a lot about a few things. In school I enjoyed every subject. That is actually not a good thing. Because it gives you no direction in life. I wish I had one obvious talent. But I don´t.

Instead my mind runs around like a headless chicken all the time.. pooping all over the place. The poop representing my thoughts being scattered in every direction. The chicken also being my thoughts, running all over the place. My thoughts are both the chicken and it's feces. I have so many that one metafor doesn't cut it. If only my thoughts could be just one big pile of poop or a calm and graceful chicken with its head intact and one mission in life. To eat and lay eggs.

I eat a lot of eggs now. And chicken for that matter. I´m trying to loose weight and eat more protein and less cookie dough. Wake up each day at 4.30 to exercise before work. I actually like it. It was my morning routine for years in Iceland. For ten years I woke up at 5.00 am and went for a run or to the gym before work. Since moving to Sweden I haven't done that. Resulting in extra weight I've been trying to loose for three years without success. I have realized that early morning is the only time that works for me. I´m to tired and lazy in the afternoon to exercise. Sure I can go for a walk or ride my bike. But go for a jog or lift some weights after work. Forget it. It just doesn't work for me. So finally after three and a half year without my morning routine I've accepted that I simply have to go to bed between 8 and 9 in the evening and get up at 4.30. Suck it up and get it done.

I had a setback yesterday. Didn't sleep well because of all my thoughts. Had a crappy exercise where I did the bare minimum. Then I baked a cake and ate some cookie dough. And cheese. I find that to be a great combo. No fancy cheese. Just the regular one you put on your bread. Cheese slices and cookie dough. Try it and tell me what you think! Thank God I also like the good stuff. You know, healthy food. But I will never stop eating cookie dough. Well, gotta run. Literally. I´ve got to go for a run. Try and burn off some of that cookie dough.